My yoke is easy and my burden is light

Erin and I went home and slept at home for the first time. I struggled with feelings of guilt leaving him without a parent in the room. I was asleep very quickly and slept well. I woke before my 6am alarm and of course my mind started racing with concern. As I was dressing, the weight of John's situation was becoming very real to me. This verse came to my mind: Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." We adopted out of our love for Jesus and his care for those who have been cast aside. This yoke didn't feel especially easy to bear this morning as I was putting on my shoes and walking out the door to my new life. Or as I cried on my way to the hospital. Or the incredible sadness, reluctance, and yet resolve to push that 3rd floor button. It didn't feel easy as I watched my beautiful boy lay there in bed with drool coming out of his mouth, moaning in discomfort. I am not capable of bearing this burden that I've been given. But after silently crying next to John, he begun to wake up a little. He asked me if I would read to him and in the strongest happiest voice I could muster, I told him "I would love to read to you." As I was reading one book after another, letting him choose each book, He was comforted and I was comforted. I still have my baby. He is still here. He had his stroke while under intense medical scrutiny. It could have been at home. It could have been somewhere where he didn't get help fast enough. He is still with me. Not only do I have him, he is still John. He still has his personality while awake, though it is so hard to see through his exhaustion. If I get him for five minutes or five hours, I WILL rejoice and treasure each moment with him. While we were filling out the paperwork to adopt John, we were asked to fill out a checklist of things that we were willing to consider. The one thing we both agreed that we simply could not do was adopt a child with a mental impairment. Yet here we are. And if this is what is required to be John's daddy, then I embrace it. While thinking clearly, I embrace it with both arms and I embrace it with true joy in my heart. *IF* that is what is required to be his daddy. Upon further reflection, I don't think what we are going through is the yoke I'm being asked to bear. What John is going through is indeed a heavy burden. The yoke I'm being asked to take is trust in God. Trust that my heavenly father cares for John. Trust that Jesus is humble and gentle in heart. Trust that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Trust that He will give us a crown of beauty in exchange for ashes and give us joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair... Please pray that Erin and I take take up His yoke and find rest in Him.